After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
