What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
