it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
