i always forget guys have bellybuttons
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
