New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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