is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize