I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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