Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
