My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
