So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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