His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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