Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
