don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
