I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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