Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I need a beard to bite.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
