Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
