She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
