are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
