Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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