She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
