I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My breasts were aching with rage.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
