margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
