singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
