she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
