She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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