Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
