can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
