Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
