Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
