The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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