well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
