there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
