i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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