I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
