is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
