Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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