after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
