just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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