One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
