He is such a slut. More and more my type.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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