All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
