is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
