It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
