i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
