He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
