All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
