whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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