Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
