Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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