So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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